Friday, June 4, 2010

Week 3 - Anxiety

I don't consider myself to be a quitter. Quitters don't see things to the end and that means that there is no chance for success for whatever it was he/she set out to do in the first place. Quitters seem to think that there is always a path of lesser resistance that would take him/her to a comparable if not a better ends. Art Center has really begun to test my will power and my resilience.

There is of course a path of lesser resistance than Art Center. Art Center is the best in the business for many reasons including, but not limited to its curriculum, its instructors and the talented students who attend.

I've been frank with my blogs and will continue to be frank in all future blogs. (Frank? I thought I was Gabe... *rimshot*) Thoughts of quitting Art Center in search for a path of lesser resistance has crept into my head. I thought to myself, "Why am I putting myself through the wringer again? Is it worth my while to get a second bachelor's when I already have one from a very respectable university? What do I do about finances - I only got so much from loans and my poor old parents are paying the rest of it."

Every email or letter that I get that has to do with bills gets me thinking a little bit more. I know how much I have in my checking account. Take that number and divide that by the sum of my monthly bills and I have a fairly good idea of how many more months I have to live before my account zeroes out. That, my friends, is a stark yet sobering reality.

I thought to myself that when I was in the construction project management industry, each biweekly paycheck afforded me comforts, latitude and the ability to choose how and what to spend my money on. I was able to compartmentalize work life from home life. I left my work on the desk in my cube and whenever I decided to leave, that was it, I'd deal with it in the morning.

Art Center works you into the ground - everybody knows this. I struggled with having to go to class, come home and having to stay up late working on homework 'til the wee hours of the morning before I'd finally have to pull the plug and get some sleep. I'm well aware that sleep has become a luxury for many an Art Center student, but I'm afraid that I can't operate that way, especially since I have 2.5 hours on the road sandwiching my classes.

It's only week 3 and it's only going to get harder. What I found is that I'm still treading water with the workload but I'm beginning to look for paths of lesser resistance. I'm weighing all these factors - the work, the time, the cost, the alternatives - and I'm at crossroads between forging ahead or making a left or a right in order to lead a different life.

What are my alternatives if not Art Center? It's not like I can go back to construction immediately and find a job; the industry is still currently struggling due to the economy. So where to?

This may seem like a very harebrained idea, but I thought about going back to Hollister and applying for their Manager In Training position. My coworkers and managers noticed my work ethic and knew that I already had my bachelors, so they'd ask me, "Why didn't you apply for the Manager In Training position?" I'd only make a fraction of what I did before, but it'd still be a 5 figure sum. It would have nothing to do with my schooling or my interests, but it'd pay the bills and there'd be plenty of room for advancement. I'd be able to use a lot less of my parents' money and regain some semblance of self sufficiency.

Last Wednesday night was when it all came crashing down. I was churning out my 20 pages of sketches and realizing that I still had 8 pages of research boards to do and 1 foamcore model to build, and it was already 1AM. On top of that, I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before. (My fellow Art Center schoolmates right now are reading this and saying "yeah... at least you're getting some sleep, you lucky bastard...") I called up my parents at 1AM my time, 4 AM theirs (poor Mom and Dad!) and I shared everything with them. They empathized with my struggles, especially my dad who managed to get his Ph.D while raising a family of 4. They also encouraged me to keep fighting especially since they felt that I had talent.

Two other events started to right the ship again for me Thursday. I managed to finish my research boards and attended my afternoon class with Mr. Lim. During my presentation, Mr. Lim didn't actually draw a whole lot on my research boards and only made a few minor notes. I could tell that I was on the right path. As simple as that sounds, it still sparked the desire in me to forge on and not give up.

After class, a few of us stayed after class and really shared our thoughts regarding Art Center and how we felt about it thus far. Surprisingly, there were other students that were just as downtrodden as I was, but on the other end of the spectrum, there were kids who absolutely loved that they were being worked to death at the most prestigious car design school in the world.

The testimonial that spoke to me the most was from one classmate in particular. He was also a believer in Christ and I now firmly believe that his words were not just his, but God used him to speak to me. Basically he said that his situation was very very similar to mine. He struggled with not being able to see friends and family as well as the financial burdens of being a student. He realized though, that God put him at Art Center for a reason.

Last night, when I got home, I wolfed down my Panda Express and just played guitar for a while before going to bed. I tried not to think about Art Center at all and just let my mind wander for a while. I called it a night at around 1AM and just slept the best sleep I had in a few days.

This morning, I woke up with an oddly renewed outlook on my career at Art Center.

I'm going to give this another go, this time with even better time management and a recentered focus fixed on making it through.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Art Center - Transportation Design - Design Process I

The mind-bending pace of Art Center is the stuff of legends. Sleep deprivation, exhaustion, and a first hand experience inside of a man-sized pressure cooker set atop Lida St. in Pasadena, California have all become a part of my being. Sure I was forewarned by the alumni, the faculty, the students currently attending and even the aspiring applicants who were still in the process of building their entrance portfolios, but being in the mix brought definition to their stories. Being in the mix delineated fact from fictitious tall tales. As it turns out, not many of their accounts were tall tales.

I heard many stories of one instructor in particular. One Mr. Bumsuk Lim - the most talked about instructor at Art Center. Period. His reputation transcended majors at the College; students outside of the Transportation Design realm all knew of him, and even the security guards exchanged stories they've probably heard from students.

Mr. Lim graduated from ACCD back in 1990 and has since returned to teach at Art Center. It is my understanding that he teaches both 1st and 4th term classes. His first term class is a clearinghouse and the objective was clear - this was the so-called "weed out" class for Transportation Design. (Even as I'm writing this, part of me feels the need to set aside the laptop and churn out a couple more sketches for Design Process I - Mr. Lim's class.) As a first-termer, I was enrolled in his class.

The first day of his class, he introduced himself and told us to never ever miss class and never ever be late. Class started at 2:00 PM and ended at 7:00 PM. On the dot. He then launched us into a discussion. The subject matter was very very simple. He told us that the course title, Design Process I, really means Car Design I and that we were going to school to become Car Designers. His job, he told us, was to design Car Designers. His question to us was "What is Car Design?"

The class tried to define Car Design, but after a while, he simplified the question and asked us "What is a car?" It was then that I realized why Art Center Transportation Design students chuckle when they ask each other "What is a car?" This had become one of Mr. Lim's trademark questions he posed to every group of incoming students.

After a good hour and a half of discussion, he finally disclosed his satisfactory answer for what a car is. I won't share it here, just in case any prospective students find this blog. I don't think he'd be thrilled to find out that the answer to his age-old question was disclosed on the internet. He then asked us "What is design?" I won't bore my readers with the details, but pretty much the same discussion took place and in the end, he shared his definition with us, and we were to know it as gospel from that point on.

3 hours of discussion elapsed out of our 5 hour class/studio. The discussion was rich and it was evident that Mr. Lim knew exactly what he was talking about. We were given a half hour break during which he promptly disappeared. At 29 minutes and 55 seconds, Mr. Lim reappeared in the classroom and picked up where he left off. He took us to the student supply store and there, we played the role of locusts during the Biblical Plagues and depleted the student store of all things navy blue - 3 gradients of blue markers, marker ink refills, blue Verithin color pencils as well as Prismacolor pencils and NuPastel blue pastel in addition to pads and pads of A3 marker paper. As of last Friday, the student store is still devoid of any marker within the dark blue spectrum or any refills for that matter.

When we got back to class, he assigned each student with a car make, either Kia, Buick or Volvo. Our task was to design a car that was not currently in their lineup. Then he had us unwrap our marker paper and start sketching our cars for approximately 20 minutes.

For 20 minutes, there was only the sound of blue lines being laid down on marker paper, the occasional whir of the electric pencil sharpener and Mr. Lim's footsteps as he paced the classroom checking up on our sketching process. The time flew by and without warning, Mr. Lim told us to stop sketching and post our sketches up on the wall at the front of the room. We were all caught off guard because nobody had bought any thumbtacks or anything similar - what the hell were we going to do? Luckily, a fellow student produced a box of drafting dots out of his bag and he became the most popular kid in class.

During all this chaos, Mr. Lim looked on and spurred us to hurry up. There was a frenzy at the wall while everyone attempted to post their work, then the frenzy cleared. The wall was papered with sketches posted high and low, some crooked, so straight. Mr. Lim took a look and commanded the class to line up the drawings at eye level, evenly spaced. This resulted in somewhat of a relay action because the next person couldn't post their sketch until the previous person posted theirs so that the sketches could be at the same level and spaced evenly from one to the next. It took a few moments, but we finally got it right.

Mr. Lim then grabbed his blue pencil and critiqued each student's work - he wasn't shy about marking on the sketches. He picked apart each and every sketch and made a point about writing your name on your work - ALWAYS. When he completed his crit session, every last drawing either had a deformed loopdie-loop on it, a big blue X through it, a couple blue spirals or a couple questions marks on it, courtesy of Mr. Lim.

He announced that he had just talked the talk and now it was time for him to walk the walk (his words, not mine), so he hijacked a student's new marker pad, reached out his hand in search for a Verithin pencil (which he got immediately... it was funny because 4 or 5 of them were immediately volunteered and presented to him at the same time) and started throwing beautiful blue arcs onto the white paper. With each drawing tool change, he never looked up, he'd just extend his hand and call out what he needed ("Prisma", "B39", "NuPastel", etc.) it'd be presented to him immediately. I'd imagine that's how Operating Rooms work!

Watching him work was mesmerizing. There was little to no wasted movement. Each line was drawn with intent and the form of a car appeared before our eyes in no time flat. The amount of practice and mileage he had put in was evident. The only other movement he performed was an occasional glance over at his watch. I succumbed to the power of suggestion and so I also glanced down at my watch. It was 6:58PM and Mr. Lim was putting the finishing touches on his sketch with white gouache in order to indicate reflection.

6:59PM he walked over to the wall in front of us, stuck his sketch to the wall and took a few steps back.

"Guys, THAT is a car. Your homework is 20 pages, 2 views per page, 8 pages of user research on 11 x 17, 1 11 x 17 cover page and 1 11 x 17 competitor page. See you next week."

As the heel of his trailing foot cleared the door way, I looked down at my watch. It was 7:00PM with the yellow second hand of my watch on the 12.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Last Day of Orientation

First off, I must commend Art Center on its effort and ability to really get the incoming student body into the Art Center frame of mind.

I was among the many who was under the impression that although it is important to get to know the lay of the land in a new environment and to understand what this new setting will likely bring, 4 days of orientation might be a tad on the long side. After 3 days of orientation, I now understand what Art Center was trying to accomplish by establishing a 4 day orientation process.

Throughout the orientation, I've met a bunch of new people - every last one of them has rightfully earned his of her place onto the Art Center student roster. I was surrounded by true talent - the cream of the crop when it comes to art and design - and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little intimidated.

Up to this point in my life, the answer to "So Gabe... what do you do?" was always "I'm a civil engineer working in construction management." I clearly saw myself as an engineer. So what the hell is an engineer doing at Art Center? Clearly, I'm undergoing a transformation in order to redefine who I am.

I've noticed a problem within myself that might hinder my educational growth at Art Center. I believe I know how to fix it.

The Problem: I've lost that (no, not lovin' feelin') confidence I had when it came to all things drawing related. My painting was displayed in the Ann Arbor Public Library when I was 9, and even though I was the only engineer in the drawing class at Purdue, it was my drawing the teacher chose to display in Purdue's student gallery. I'm listing these minor accomplishments not as a display of boastfulness, but as a self reminder that I could hold my own back in the day.

My confidence was damaged during Intermediate Transportation Design. My renderings, admittedly, never looked as good as my fellow students'. The forms I came up with, arguably were on par if not better than at least some of my classmates, but the markering and the color application process always ruined what once was a halfway decent line drawing. As a result, my criticism sessions with the instructor always found me backpedaling and on my heels when he pointed out my poor rendering technique. My skills did improve noticeably throughout the term, but there was still a large gap to close between me and my peers. In what I guess was an attempt at preservation of dignity, I gave up striving to be the best and instead inherited the role as class clown, trading verbal barbs with my peers and the instructor and making people laugh.

I made it through the term, but that was pretty much it. I didn't have much to show for it except a marginally improved idea of how to lay down color. Worst of all, my confidence was battered. No longer was I the one dishing out the pain in art class. I was demoted to class clown.

Intermediate Transportation Design was the only art class I've ever taken in which I received a 'C'.

It irked me for some time that I couldn't render like the other kids, so I began to explore and also revisit some of the techniques taught in class. I began to reference works from other students in order to emulate their technique. After a lot of trial and error, I was finally able to come up with some renderings decent enough to put into my entrance portfolio.

The Solution: I need to acknowledge that although rendering is not my strong suit, what I'm capable of as far as rendering, in addition to my skills preceding the rendering process (ideation, concept sketching, etc.) has earned me a place at Art Center. That should count for something.

Throughout orientation, I found myself among the few students that were admittedly scared and intimidated by our present company. The rest of the student body had their heads held high, ready to issue artistic beatdowns to whomever dared to challenge their self anointed supremacy in the world of art.

I hate to wrap this up with a cliche "take home lesson" ending, but I believe it's appropriate here. This is going to sound completely unrelated, but bear with me. In playing golf, I've found that if you're going to play scared, you might as well not play at all because that kind of attitude breeds failure. If you're hitting a slice, anticipate the left to right ball flight and make a round of it. Afterward, head back to the range and figure it out. Fear should play no role within the round.

Much the same, I know that rendering's my weakness, but I still excel in other aspects, so I'll keep working on my rendering, but I can't go in there scared.

From now on, I'm no longer going to be intimidated by my peers and/or instructors. I'm going to find that lost confidence I had and that will propel me towards success throughout my career at Art Center.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Transportation Design - 1st Term.. T-3 Days

Art Center - Transportation Design - First Term -
Prologue...

The economy killed my career in construction management. My last project was definitely one to remember, and if you ask me, I'd consider it "going out on top." The Beverly Hills Montage has become a landmark destination and will always be among the tier-1 boutique hotels across the nation. Upon the project's completion, the general contracting firm laid off a grip of engineers, and unfortunately I was one of them.

My job search was speckled with interviews - few and far between and never fruitful. There were always more experienced candidates that the companies hired in favor of an "mid-new" 5-year experienced construction project engineer. As frustrating as it was, I'm beginning to believe that this recruiting dry spell was a blessing in disguise.

There were days on the construction site when I simply wished I was doing something else with my life. Construction is rewarding, but mostly in hindsight. Being able to point to a building and say that I played a big role in the construction of the building was a great feeling, but the time spent in the trenches, figuring out coordination and scheduling issues led me to wonder if I was truly passionate about construction. I began to wonder if my ability to put ideas down on paper through illustrations and drawings was my true calling in life.

During my time away from work, I enrolled in Art Center's night program that was open to the public. My first class at Art Center At Night was Intro to Transportation Design. Without going into too much detail, I found that although I could see myself burning the midnight oil drawing cars, I wanted to wait out the construction freeze to see if I could regain my footing in the industry and resume making a decent income.

It wasn't long before the itch to draw cars began to set in again. In addition, the construction job market still wasn't showing any signs of renewed life, so this led me to take Intermediate Transportation Design. I struggled with this course because I was unaccustomed to using markers and Nupastel to render cars. It wasn't until after the term was over that I slowly began to grasp the concept of color rendering.

The Intermediate course, quite honestly instilled in me a seedling of doubt in my future as a car designer. I began to doubt whether I wanted to pursue a degree at Art Center and so I continued to wait for the construction industry to turn itself around. Still, my hopes weren't entirely vanquished by this setback.

With unemployment benefits running out, I decided that waiting around for the construction industry was simply not an option. I needed to be more productive. If ever there was a time for me to pursue my passion in car design in spite of the Intermediate class, it was now.

I got down to business and finally applied to Art Center's Transportation Design program. It took me two attempts to gain admission, however I'm happy to report that I am now officially an Art Center student.

Today was the first day of orientation and I couldn't be more excited. I've become well aware of the lifestyle Art Center students live throughout the duration of their 8 term stay and their war stories - very little sleep, no time to eat, and an incessantly increasing amount of homework and projects. This hasn't diminished my excitement, however. I'm still very much looking forward to my first day at Art Center!

I've created this blog in order to hopefully shed some light on some pretty typical questions someone might have if they're interested in pursuing a degree in Transportation Design at Art Center such as:

1. What does a typical day/week look like?
2. How hard is it really?
3. How many hours of homework is there?
4. Do you really have to lose sleep in order to survive at Art Center or is impeccable time management the answer?

I'll also post some drawings and/or projects I'm currently working on, so please continue to check back from time to time!