Last Day of Orientation

First off, I must commend Art Center on its effort and ability to really get the incoming student body into the Art Center frame of mind.

I was among the many who was under the impression that although it is important to get to know the lay of the land in a new environment and to understand what this new setting will likely bring, 4 days of orientation might be a tad on the long side. After 3 days of orientation, I now understand what Art Center was trying to accomplish by establishing a 4 day orientation process.

Throughout the orientation, I've met a bunch of new people - every last one of them has rightfully earned his of her place onto the Art Center student roster. I was surrounded by true talent - the cream of the crop when it comes to art and design - and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little intimidated.

Up to this point in my life, the answer to "So Gabe... what do you do?" was always "I'm a civil engineer working in construction management." I clearly saw myself as an engineer. So what the hell is an engineer doing at Art Center? Clearly, I'm undergoing a transformation in order to redefine who I am.

I've noticed a problem within myself that might hinder my educational growth at Art Center. I believe I know how to fix it.

The Problem: I've lost that (no, not lovin' feelin') confidence I had when it came to all things drawing related. My painting was displayed in the Ann Arbor Public Library when I was 9, and even though I was the only engineer in the drawing class at Purdue, it was my drawing the teacher chose to display in Purdue's student gallery. I'm listing these minor accomplishments not as a display of boastfulness, but as a self reminder that I could hold my own back in the day.

My confidence was damaged during Intermediate Transportation Design. My renderings, admittedly, never looked as good as my fellow students'. The forms I came up with, arguably were on par if not better than at least some of my classmates, but the markering and the color application process always ruined what once was a halfway decent line drawing. As a result, my criticism sessions with the instructor always found me backpedaling and on my heels when he pointed out my poor rendering technique. My skills did improve noticeably throughout the term, but there was still a large gap to close between me and my peers. In what I guess was an attempt at preservation of dignity, I gave up striving to be the best and instead inherited the role as class clown, trading verbal barbs with my peers and the instructor and making people laugh.

I made it through the term, but that was pretty much it. I didn't have much to show for it except a marginally improved idea of how to lay down color. Worst of all, my confidence was battered. No longer was I the one dishing out the pain in art class. I was demoted to class clown.

Intermediate Transportation Design was the only art class I've ever taken in which I received a 'C'.

It irked me for some time that I couldn't render like the other kids, so I began to explore and also revisit some of the techniques taught in class. I began to reference works from other students in order to emulate their technique. After a lot of trial and error, I was finally able to come up with some renderings decent enough to put into my entrance portfolio.

The Solution: I need to acknowledge that although rendering is not my strong suit, what I'm capable of as far as rendering, in addition to my skills preceding the rendering process (ideation, concept sketching, etc.) has earned me a place at Art Center. That should count for something.

Throughout orientation, I found myself among the few students that were admittedly scared and intimidated by our present company. The rest of the student body had their heads held high, ready to issue artistic beatdowns to whomever dared to challenge their self anointed supremacy in the world of art.

I hate to wrap this up with a cliche "take home lesson" ending, but I believe it's appropriate here. This is going to sound completely unrelated, but bear with me. In playing golf, I've found that if you're going to play scared, you might as well not play at all because that kind of attitude breeds failure. If you're hitting a slice, anticipate the left to right ball flight and make a round of it. Afterward, head back to the range and figure it out. Fear should play no role within the round.

Much the same, I know that rendering's my weakness, but I still excel in other aspects, so I'll keep working on my rendering, but I can't go in there scared.

From now on, I'm no longer going to be intimidated by my peers and/or instructors. I'm going to find that lost confidence I had and that will propel me towards success throughout my career at Art Center.